About sex toys
hen I was in my 20s, it wasn't
easy for women to talk openly about sex, and especially about sex toys and other
products for lovers.
Thank goodness attitudes have changed. Now it's perfectly
normal for "nice girls" to buy, own and use sex-oriented products. It wasn't so long
ago that you'd find these goodies only in sleazy shops in bad neighborhoods. Well,
now there are some nice, classy adult-products stores that make shopping comfortable
for women and couples. And home parties have helped make buying intimate products a fun
experience for girlfriends to share.
Best of all, the web now lets us browse and buy on our own
schedule and in total privacy if that's what we prefer -- and lots of women do prefer
to buy this way.
So I'm here to offer some ideas and suggestions about the wonderful
product choices out there: how to choose them and how to use them.
Sharing with your partner
Here's one very important piece of advice: Women shouldn't feel
like using a vibrator or other toy is anything to be ashamed of or to hide from our lovers.
You'd be amazed at how much excitement you can bring to your private life by sharing this
part of it with your "significant other." He (or she) very likely will learn something
important about you, and how to please you, from your choice of toys, or videos, or other
fun stuff. What a great way to let your lover know what you like!
And don't forget to keep your own mind open. Browsing through
a catalog like this together is a wonderful way to discover your partner's fantasies
and desires. What a fun way to "break the ice" about what's sometimes a difficult subject!
Sex toys for beginners
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Sex Toys How-to Video
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Your pleasure, alone
es, it's normal and it's healthy for women to masturbate. There. I've said it!
Forget about all the nonsense you might have heard.
Giving yourself physical pleasure is the safest sex of all, and is good for your
physical and mental health. It's one of the best stress relievers around. There are
no harmful side effects. And other than maybe the cost of batteries, it's totally free!
If you have a partner, masturbating can help you keep in balance
if your sex drives aren't perfectly matched. It's also good for you on those occasions
when you can't be with your partner. (And, girls: you know your men do it sometimes, too.)
Whatever turns you on
There are as many approaches to satisfying masturbation as
there are women. There's no "correct" way except for what works for you. Of course,
you may read, or hear from a friend, about a technique that's worth trying. Why not?
I'm still grateful to my best childhood girlfriend. When we
were 12, she breathlessly told me about something she'd discovered in the bathtub. By
running water directly over her clitoris, she had her first-ever orgasms.
Though I don't think either of us knew the word, I also learned
just how much fun an orgasm could be. Of course, I found an excuse to take a bath and
tried her technique as soon as I could! Since then, I've also become fond of several
types of vibrators and, yes, that good old stand-by: my own fingers.
If you find that only one technique "works" for you, don't fret.
That's perfectly OK. Don't be afraid to experiment, but don't worry if you find that
your own "old reliable" method is still your fave.
Remember that old slogan from the '60s: "If it feels good, do it!"
Clitoral stimulators
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Masturbation How-To Video
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Choosing the right vibrator
o many choices, so little time! What's a girl to do, facing the bewildering number
of orgasmic aids on the market?
Here's an overview of the main types of vibrators.
Dildo style
The classic sex vibrator is designed to mimic at least the basic shape
of the penis, allowing for both external and internal stimulation. These traditional designs
can have a sleek, space-age look, or be designed with the look and feel of the real thing. Choices
include hard surfaces or soft latex.
If you're looking for a first vibrator, the insertable type is a good choice.
It lets you experiment with different approaches to see what you like. It's also easy to incorporate
into erotic play with your partner.
Be practical about what you like, though. If the idea of a 12-inch pink rubber
penis seems ridiculous to you, a slim chrome pocket model may be a better choice.
Popular Vibrators
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Non-vibe Dildos
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High-tech
It's amazing what micro-electronics can do these days. There are some
wonderful advanced vibrators that combine thrusting or twisting motions for internal stimulation
with targeted vibration for the clitoris. Many of these high-end devices also feature unusual
textures: ribs or bumps or even realistic-looking body features.
Though a high-tech vibrator can give you a range of rhythms, these choices
may also be available with the simplest, inexpensive "bullet" vibrators, too.
The "Rabbit"
This is the best known brand of a type that combines elaborate vaginal stimulation
with a clitoral vibrator. The two parts have separate controls. A penis-shaped main shaft features various
pumping, swiveling or rotating motions, designed to stimulate the entire vagina, or specifically the G-spot
and/or the cervix. The "rabbit" name comes from the whimical shapes of the clitoral vibrator. The two halves
let you directly stimulate your clitoris while enjoying full vaginal penetration at the same time.
Rabbit Vibrators
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Rotating G-spot Vibe
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Just for your clitoris
Not meant for vaginal insertion, clitoral vibes can be either hand-held or
worn. The first type comes in a huge variety of shapes. These can imitate a finger or tongue, but many
of them feature tiny latex or silicone "fingers." These little protrusions surround and excite both the
clitoris and the surrounding labia. All allow you to control the speed and often the rhythm of the vibration.
An intriguing variation is the "Butterfly" or "Hummingbird" or similar wearable
vibrator. These have slim straps that loop around your waist and thighs and hold the vibrator firmly
against your clitoris. With a remote control, you can regulate your own stimulation level during
intercourse. Or, if you're feeling daring, wear one of these "mama's little helpers" under your clothes
for a secret indulgence while going about your daily business.
We don't recommend using a wearable vibrator while driving. We won't be
responsible if you wreck your car while having an uncontrollable orgasm!
Vibrating eggs
Often called "bullets," these compact toys use tiny button batteries to power
a vibrating unit about the size and shape of a lipstick case. They have variable settings controlled by
a tiny switch. These versatile beauties can be slipped into an amazing range of latex and silicone devices,
which are meant to fit in or on you or your lover in every imaginable way.
A slightly more old-fashioned type uses a corded remote-control, which also holds
the AA batteries, to drive a more rounded, egg-shaped vibrator.
Either kind is ideal for direct stimulation of the clitoris. They can easily
fit between two lovers, stimulating both during intercourse, or slip into the vagina.
Clitoris vibrators
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Mini Vibrators
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G-Spot Vibrator
This type has a unique angled shape to reach the G-spot, the sensitive area on
the upper wall of the vagina. Some models combine the internal G-spot stimulator with a separate latex
"finger" or "tongue" to simultaneously tickle the clitoris. Some men use a G-spot vibrator anally to
massage their prostate.
Anal vibrators
For those who like anal stimulation, or want to try it out, a slim
vibrator or "bullet" type used externally can be a good choice. For deeper penetration,
using plenty of lubrication of course, there are specialized prostate or G-spot massagers.
Sex Toys for Experts
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Anal Toys
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Care and cleaning
f your vibrator is your friend, be good to your friend with a few simple maintenance steps.
If you pay top dollar for a high-end vibrator, you'll likely enjoy a well-made,
durable bedroom companion for many years. But much of the merchandise on the market is designed
mainly with price in mind. As you've come to expect from other super-low-cost made-in-China products,
many sex toys have a fairly short working life. You can prolong it by following these guidelines.
- Use only water-based lubricants. Oil-based lubes (baby oil, petroleum jelly) will damage latex and
silicone. For many toys, soap and hot water are good for cleaning. Avoid bleaches or alcohol, unless
recommended by the manufacturer. These chemicals can damage plastics.
- Always clean your sex toys after each use. That's an important health precaution, and can also
help keep them working longer. Ideally use special sanitizers designed for sex toys.
- Don't get the electrical parts of your vibrator wet when cleaning it. That includes the battery
compartment. If you do get water inside, take out the batteries and use a hair dryer to remove any
moisture.
- Handle with care. Hard plastic cases can break if dropped; electronics and moving parts can also
be damaged. If a hard plastic toy is cracked, discard it. Cracks are hard to clean and can harbor
bacteria.
- Store carefully. Keep your sex toys in a dry, clean place to keep off dust. And, ideally, store
them where you won't have to offer explanations to the kids. If you're not using your vibrator daily,
remove batteries to avoid corrosion.
- Corrosion on electrical contacts can be scrubbed away with a swab and a bit of bicarb. Dab a
bit of petroleum jelly on the newly cleaned piece.
Go to my "Favorites" page for some suggestions for
lubes, cleaning products and other goodies.
Sex Toy Cleaner
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You're not being selfish
ut what about that guilty feeling? You know: Somehow, if I have fun with my sex toys I'm betraying, or
indirectly criticizing, my partner?
A lot of us grew up thinking masturbation was something we had
to do furtively, in secret, by ourselves. So it can be a mental stretch to make it part
of our relationship with a lover.
But it's NOT unfaithful to your partner if sometimes you need
a little release on your own. There are those late nights when I find a few pleasant minutes with
my vibrator help me get back to sleep. If my guy wakes up and wants to join in the fun,
it's great. But if he sleeps through my orgasm, it's because he knows it just helps keep me on an
even keel. And it helps me be a better lover another night.
Should he have to scratch every itch?
Let's tackle one other big myth. You may think your partner should fulfill
your every sexual need. Well, sorry, but as much as I love my husband, there are times when I just
have to indulge my fantasies. (I won't get into which handsome actor these involve, but I'm sure
most of you know where I'm coming from.)
No matter how good and loving -- or physically well-endowed -- your partner
is, it's unrealistic to think he can satisfy your every sexual urge. Think about it this way:
To play out your fantasies with an affair would be dishonest, dangerous, expensive and time-consuming. Not
to mention the guilt. Avoid all those negatives, play with your toys and indulge your fantasies when
you need to. And DON'T FEEL GUILTY!
Interestingly enough, women who are part of couples often masturbate just as
much as they did when single. Having a partner is stimulating in itself and increases your sexual
desire! So blame him for making you horny all the time.
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Your fantasy life
o you fantasize while masturbating or even during sex? Of course you do. Just about every woman
does, one time or another. Female sexual fantasies can range from Harlequin Romance-style seductions
to the most extreme, scary Sado-Masochistic scenarios.
Psychologists tell us our fantasies often date back to our childhoods, so
whatever excited us as young girls is probably still a turn-on now. Do you feel guilty about your
fantasies? Think you're a bad girl? Don't. (Unless, of course, the "Bad Girl" thing, and being punished for
it, is one of your fantasies!)
No guilt
Sometimes what a woman needs most is her own touch and her own imagination.
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You may try to block out fantasies about being raped, or making love to another
woman. Maybe you're guilty about imagining an affair with a sexy celebrity. Or ashamed to be dwelling
on something else you would never do in real life.
Try to think of your fantasy life as a mental "movie" that's separate
from your reality. Inside your own imagination, like inside a darkened theater, you can enjoy the forbidden
thrills that rev you up sexually. Remember that it's just entertainment.
We can't change what turns us on. As long as we don't act out fantasies that could
be harmful in real life, it's perfectly healthy to enjoy the excitement.
Are you feeling bad about imagining that it's Johnny Depp all hot and sweaty on
top of you? Who do you suppose your sweet, kind but maybe not always totally exciting lover may be
thinking about? He might fantasize about making love to Nicole Kidman or Angelina Jolie. And chances are
both of your unspoken fantasies can help make the sex extra-hot for each of you.
Visual fantasies
We all know men are visual creatures. They are aroused by the sight of attractive
women. We women work hard to respond to that fact.
But for many women, visual stimulation plays into our fantasies, too. For example,
there are thoroughly heterosexual women who still find themselves sexually excited by the sight of other women
in the nude. Others are aroused by seduction scenes in movies, or even by hard-core erotica that features
abductions, bondage or even rape.
If that describes you, I can suggest some videos and other types of erotica that may
help your fantasy life. Much of the material aimed at women's sexual tastes is marketed as "couples"
erotica. Sharing your tastes in sexual entertainment with your partner will open up communication and help
both of you discover new outlets for your imaginations. Remember: Your most important sex organ is your brain.
Fetish Videos
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Bondage Fantasy Gear
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Your pleasure, together
lenty of lovers enjoy including masturbation in their sex lives together.
It can be very exciting to watch your partner giving himself or herself pleasure,
and to be watched while you please yourself. It's also educational: You both
learn more about what kinds of stimulation work for each of you. He should enjoy
having you demonstrate your "sweet spot."
I used to worry that my partner would be offended when I
reached for my vibrator after he had his climax. I often need that additional stimulation
to bring myself to orgasm. But he assured me that it kept him turned on to watch me.
Most important, he didn't feel like it was a threat to his masculinity.
I'm like most women: Vaginal penetration feels great but isn't enough
to bring me to climax. I need more direct stimulation of my clitoris. Sometimes this
works best after intercourse. But other times a few good minutes with my favorite vibe
at the start of love-making will "prime my pump." That helps me reach orgasm more easily
during intercourse.
Less psychological pressure
Here's a bonus: A guy may feel like he has to "perform" in a
certain way to give his lady an orgasm. That can cause all kinds of stress and physical
symptoms that interfere with his pleasure -- and yours. You can take some of the pressure
off his ego if he's confident you'll definitely get your orgasm, one way or another.
The same toys and techniques you use solo can be used in mutual
masturbation. You and your lover can teach each other the techniques you each find pleasurable
when you're alone.
Bottom line: Masturbation, and whatever combination of toys
and products you choose to go along with it, can and should be a normal part of your sex
life with your partner. However you achieve it, you are each responsible for your own orgasm.
Toys for partners
Lots of sex toys are designed for two lovers to use together.
I have more to say about this on the "Couples" page.
Usually these are designed to enhance intercourse. These include
cock rings with vibrators, little nubby fingers, or both. These stimulate your clitoris
and help him keep a strong erection. The ring's grip around the base of the penis heightens
the male orgasm, too.
Recommended toys
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Cock Rings
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How-to Videos
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Videos for Couples
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What pleases a man
onsiderate lovers try hard to understand what makes their partner tick. For that matter, anyone in a heterosexual
relationship struggles to understand the opposite sex in general. Whole libraries of books have been written to
help women understand their men, and vice-versa. But let me offer these few essential points.
Men are visually stimulated. They are turned on by the sight of you -- but they are also
turned on by the sight of any attractive woman. Don't take that part personally, unless your man ogles openly,
ignores you, or behaves like a jerk in public. You already know about appealing to his visual sense through how you
dress, do your hair, makeup, etc.
If you want him to remain interested in you, be sure to show him what he wants to see. Depending
on his specific taste, that could mean you in a negligee, or you in a bikini, or you in nothing at all. Turning it around,
if you want him to lose interest in you and turn his eye elsewhere, hide your body from him. One Christmas long ago my
mother (a sadly repressed woman, poor soul) gave me an ugly floor-length flannel nightgown. My husband had just a few words
to say about that: "So, you don't want any more grandchildren, then?" (Don't worry: I never wore it.)
OK, girls, now it's time to have the Body Image talk. Are you embarrassed to be naked in front of your guy
because you aren't happy with your weight? Trying to hide stretch marks, or that post-baby bulge? Trust me: he'll get past
all of that if you show him you're more interested in him than you are in your own ego. Few of us, male or female, have a
"perfect" body. But if you feel good about yourself -- because you're a sexy woman and have a lot of love to offer, regardless
of physical details -- you'll be a great lover for your partner.
Don't fight against his instincts
You can also help cultivate the visual center of his sex drive, rather than trying to fight it.
Watch a porn video with him; you'll get clues about what lights his fire, and you'll probably get turned on yourself. Make
erotica your friend, not your enemy. Don't box him into a corner so he has to tell obvious lies like "I just read Playboy
for the articles." Hon, let him enjoy the pictures, and YOU read the articles. They'll help clue you in to what guys are interested
in, and how they think.
If you want to really give him a treat, learn how to do a strip-tease like a professional exotic dancer.
Then some night when the lights are low and the doors are locked, surprise him with your new stage personality. With any luck,
you'll be doing more than one kind of pole dancing. (And don't be offended if he tries to tip you by stuffing dollar bills in
your garter. It just means you made the right decision!)
Making Love to Men Video
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Stripper How-to Video
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Oral sex for him
e women are pretty near unanimous in wanting our guys to favor us with oral sex. We know there's nothing quite so wonderful
as the feel of lips and tongue on our sex organs. Well, gals, it's no surprise that he wants us to favor him that way, too. But
just as a man may need guidance on how our plumbing works, too many women come up wanting in the oral sex department, too.
Let's clear up one big misconception. You don't have to gag yourself trying to swallow a big penis. That
"deep throat" stuff is overrated, to be frank, and it's not easy to do well. The most common term for fellatio is "cock sucking,"
but there's really very little sucking in the best oral techniques.
Easy on the equipment
Rule One: Be careful with your teeth. Use your lips to make sure your teeth NEVER come in contact with
the penis. Scraping his tender skin will bring your lovemaking to a crashing halt. If it's difficult with the penis on your mouth,
then keep it out. You can give excellent head without trying to imitate intercourse in your mouth.
Instead of pumping up and down, for example, swirl your tongue around the cock head. The verbs to remember
include "kiss," "lick" and "stroke." That's right, use your hands on the base of his penis while your mouth is showing the head
some love. You can use a firm, vigorous grip on the shaft, but be very gentle with the tip.
The best piece of advice a guy ever gave me on this topic was: "Imagine you're eating an ice cream cone. You
don't ever have to stick the whole thing in your mouth, but you do need to keep licking it, all the way around." You'd also be surprised
what you can do with heat and cold. Alternate oral contact, to warm up the penis, then blow gently on it to create a little chill --
and a thrill. Then warm it back up again. Don't be afraid to be creative, try new things. He'll let you know what he especially likes.
Finally, keep in mind that the most sensitive part of the male sexual equipment is the little seam right on
the bottom of the penis' head. That little area, and the skin just below where the head bulges, are packed with nerve endings. Keep
your lips and tongue busy in these spots, and pump on the shaft with your hand, and he'll love you for it.
A final point: I advise you to decide in advance what to do with his orgasm. Work him up to a fever pitch then
switch to vaginal intercourse? Or have him reach his climax orally? Remember that bumper sticker: "Mean people suck ... Nice people
swallow." But if that doesn't appeal to you, be ready with an alternative plan to catch his semen when he comes.
Private Dancing Video
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Fellatio How-to Video
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Are you bi-curious?
any women have a perplexing question on their minds: if they have had feelings, or even "crushes," about
other women, what does that say about their sexual orientation?
The fact is, it's not at all unusual for heterosexual women to experience sexual feelings toward other
women. This might include an attraction to a particular person, or might be just a general curiosity
about bi-sexual experiences. It could be nothing more than arousal from looking at female nudes, which
is very common among women.
This is a scary but intriguing subject for some of you girls, while some of you others
might be willing to add a few comments to help me out here.
First, be honest. Have you ever been turned on while watching a skin-flick featuring
two gals making out? And have you ever thought it might be fun to explore? Long ago, I found a "girl-girl" videotape my
guy had brought home from a business trip. Well, I watched it one night while he was working late. It opened my eyes, and
it turned me on. Finally, I did actually "explore" this side of myself.
Well, let me tell you girls: It IS fun. There are lots of benefits, and while it may seem quite
daunting or "gross" that you would "ever consider such an idea!" just calm down and read on.
Why women like women
First, who else but another woman is going to know -- and I mean really know -- those secret
spots that you have? She'll know, all right. And she'll know not to suddenly stop -- or change strokes -- when you are
just about to come. (And don't tell Aunt Rose this has not happened to you! It happens to every gal; sometimes guys just,
well, don't understand.)
A soft body feels wonderful next to you
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Have you ever felt conflicted that you're attracted to men, but find that intercourse with a man
can leave you physically unsatisfied? That's one reason women find sex with other women attractive: We're not expected to
have the kind of sex (vaginal intercourse) that often doesn't satisfy. Women together always focus on stimulating the clitoris.
Besides the technique benefit, one thing that surprised me was how wonderful such a soft body
felt next to mine.
Most of my lovers have been men. So of course I'm used to the hard muscles and hairy bodies,
which is still your Aunt Rose's main turn-on. And I love the kisses from men with a moustache or beard, or just a
5 o'clock shadow. But taste the soft lips of a
woman, and it is a new kind of sensual experience.
I think that the softness that I found so sensual may be related to the love we women have for
cuddling babies. So soft, so sweet, so innocent. Maybe, maybe not.
But one other benefit you'll find after your sensual experience with another female is an
appreciation for why men find YOU so appealing.
Now, gals, again, I do realize this is a sensitive subject. Why, the first time your Aunt Rose
actually did it was after several glasses of wine (Girls! It was homemade prune wine. So hush.) So it did take a bit of bottled
courage, as it may with you.
But if you have the chance and the desire, go for it. You only live once, gals.
Bi-Curious How-to Video
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All-female Sex Videos
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Sexy fashion: Lingerie
hat romantic relationship would be complete without sexy undies and more exotic outfits? Lingerie
ranges from romantic and nostalgic styles to the blatantly erotic. Here are some tips on how to use
these fun fashions to spice up your intimate life.
When I had my first wedding shower -- way back when some of you may not even have been
born yet -- someone decided the theme was going to be a "Lingerie Party." (Yes, dearies, sensual lingerie dates
waaaay back!) Anyway, gals, the party was fun but I did not wear any of my friends' lingerie gifts on my honeymoon
night, and I really don't think I've ever worn ANY of the 15 outfits I received. I still have them, though, in a
drawer underneath our bed. Probably all moldy or moth-eaten by now, but I can't seem to part with them. Not even
that pink frilly taffetta thing with rows of yellow lace.
Aunt Rose in an outfit she picked out for herself ...
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The moral of that story is that YOU need to like the lingerie, and YOU need to feel
comfortable and sexy in whatever outfit you buy. Your taste is the most important thing, as well as what flatters
your figure. Don't buy something just because it's on sale; don't buy something just because it's "in style" By the
way, that goes for the rest of your outfits as well. More on that on your fashion sense.
You may think that all men want is a sex toy. Well, honey, this may be true with some of
your flings, but even so -- invest in lingerie that you will wear again because you like it, it looks good on you
(according, of course, to YOU), and most importantly, you feel sexy in it.
Points to remember while shopping
Okay, after getting that point across, here are some other considerations:
A corset is glamourous and helps enhance any woman's shape.
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If you are unsure of a color that flatters, or unsure if it is appropriate for the occasion, black is a safe
choice. Black inherently tends to make all figure types look slimmer, and it really is just plain sexy.
A corset is lovely on just about everyone. The right corset will push your breasts up and out, slim your waist,
and accentuate your hips. I own several, and love them, but don't count on spending too much time in a corset because
they are not 'sleepware'. Corsets feel wonderful though, and you really should have at least one in your wardrobe.
Splurge on silk. Do I really have to explain why? Go back and read my tips on your fashion sense.
Finally, consider something sheer. He'll see "you," but not really. It's tantalizing, it's teasing, it's what
it is all about!
Be confident about what you like as you create your own perfect "look."
Sexy Lingerie
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Corsets & Bustiers
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Sexy fashion: hair removal
ince the fuzzy days of my youth, it's become fashionable for women to remove most or all of their pubic hair.
I know some people have political opinions about this. Go online and you'll find impassioned
"pro-bush" and "anti-bush" arguments. (No, not THAT "Bush.") Feminists of different viewpoints are found on both
sides of the debate. I've even heard the opinion that shaving or waxing our genitals is somehow about denying our
womanhood and reverting to pre-pubescence.
Sorry, ladies. I'm no spring chicken, and my preference for a clean shave has nothing
to do with going back to childhood. I happen to like how it looks and feels.
With today's more open attitudes about the body and about sexuality, how we groom our
genitals should be purely a matter of style and personal preference. It's no different from whether a man chooses
to grow a full beard, carefully trim it, wear a mustache, or shave his face clean every day.
That's not to say this isn't a sexual decision. Like me, many women prefer the smooth
look. We aren't ashamed of our sex organs. We enjoy having them easily seen -- and easily touched. Our lovers
who enjoy oral sex appreciate having smooth skin, not hair, in their mouths. In fact, its benefit for oral sex helps
explain why the clean-shaven trend was widespread among Lesbian and bi-sexual women before it got much traction
among the general population.
Dare to go bare
You may be debating whether to shave or wax, or considering an option like a close crop, or
manicured "landing strip." You might have heard it can enhance your own sexual pleasure. Maybe your partner is
encouraging you to "go bare."
Here's the good news: It's totally reversable. Hair does grow back. So give it a try and see
how you like it. There are plenty of places online that offer detailed advice on genital shaving, but they come down
to common sense: Use a clean, new razor. Use a shave gel designed for sensitive skin. Don't try to shave too closely
at first, until your skin is used to the razor. After a week or two, you'll be able to get a very smooth shave.
Of course, it's totally up to you whether you do it yourself, or enlist a friend to help.
For me, having my main guy do the honors makes for an especially nice, relaxing experience. Kinda like having a
pedicure, but with "benefits."
If you're brave, and want the smooth effect to last longer, there's always the Brazilian wax
treatment. It can be pricey, and it hurts momentarily, but when done right the effect is, well, very slick.
Pubic Shaving Kits
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Pubic Shaving Gels
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Sexy fashion: piercing
iercing has become a popular way to enhance the look and the feel of our breasts and genitals. Rings, bars and
other jewelry are decorative. They also enhance sexual sensations for the wearer.
This trend happened in parallel with the fashion for genital shaving. There's not much
point to wearing a ring if it's hidden by pubic hair. It's another way for women to celebrate our sexuality and show
our pride in our bodies. Decorating our bodies with jewelry gives our sex partners another focus for their attention.
Display and decoration is a reaction against the shame many of us grew up with. Too many
women got the notion our genitals were ugly, or even deformed, because we had nothing to compare ourselves to. But
now, we have plenty of opportunity to see the wide range of normal female bodies. And we're ready to decorate the
purely sexual parts of ourselves, just as we've always used hair styles and makeup and jewelry to accentuate our other
attributes.
Aunt Rose gets pierced
For me, having my inner labia pierced 10 years ago was part of a time of sexual adventure
as I entered middle age. I've always enjoyed the appearance of my ring. After the initial pain of the piercing
wore off, it's felt good to have it there!
The most common type of piercing among women is in the inner labia. A ring through the clitoral
hood can cause almost constant sexual stimulation. But because of the potential for nerve damage, it's a bad idea to
pierce the clitoris itself.
Nipple piercings can have a similar effect, heightening the sensitivity of sexually responsive
tissue. They're also proven to increase the level of sexual excitement of men who see them.
Some non-piercing alternatives
If you'd like to experiment with genital or nipple
jewelry without going through the pain
of a piercing, a number of non-piercing options are available. These include clasps that fit over the nipples, and
an ingenious adaptation of a piece of curtain-hanging hardware (really!) that fits over the inner labia. I have a nice
set -- nipple and genital -- that includes Austrian crystal pendants.
Go to my "Favorites" page to see other breast-enhancing,
nipple-baring jewelry available online.
No-pierce Nipple & Clit Jewelry
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